48. You're already on it

Let's get you headed in the right direction

I recently spoke to a group looking to break into my profession. This meant I had to make sense of the nonsense that is my life, or at least make the career part sensible for other people.

A big part of science is replicable results. You don’t get to say you’ve done a real science until you can demonstrate your science unfolds the same way every time. (I may have a somewhat erroneous idea of the scientific method.)

I’m not sure how I got here. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t on purpose.

I went for a run, leaving the watch that tracks my progress at home. I’d already missed my March goal. I would have missed my February and January goals too, except I didn’t have any. But I was running more in March so when the app asked if I wanted to join the 100km club or whatever I said yes.

One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time. One step at a time.

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Everyone on Linkedin is fighting some kind of shadow monster. Even Don Quixote tilted at actual windmills. I was going to make up a representative post, but when someone writes that Putin can’t stop them from posting growth hacks, and they’re being completely serious, what more can I add?

That the smell of cows drifting in the open window is indeed that of a living beast.

That I too am a living beast.

- from “Proposition” by Mark Wunderlich

When people told Demetri Martin to finish his law degree as a backup plan, he replied how is it a backup plan if I’m never going to use it?

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Growing up I wanted to be someone else so badly I couldn’t enjoy the person I was.

And now I’m not sure I’m the right person for anything I have to do. Employee. Partner. Friend. Son. I have the distinct and persistent impression I’m doing everything wrong.

I look at all these certain people acting on their intentions and it blows my mind.

So far being an adult has meant:

• Getting to eat whatever you want and it ruins your life.

• Only running because you’re a) exercising or b) late.

• The clearest sense you have of your moral compass is how much you tip.

• You really like instructional videos for things you will never do.

• It turns out you do need math and now it’s too late.

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Suddenly I’m looking at my body and thinking it’s beautiful.

This makes sense.

I buy flowers for the table.