I’ve been thinking about the Serenity Prayer. You know the one. Goes something like God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. I’ve been thinking about it because a phrase got stuck in my head that seemed profound, and then I realised it was basically a reworked Serenity Prayer.
To me, the serenity prayer's genius lies in the final phrase: the wisdom to know the difference ("the insight to know the one from the other"). Lots can be made about the fact that the original first called upon us to draw upon our courage to make the changes that are within our power to make, and secondly to find the serenity to accept what which "cannot be helped." However, it's having the wisdom to tell one from the other that is key. There's a reason the 12 step programs have latched onto this prayer. What we can control and what we cannot--a person needs to be able to discern the difference. You cannot change another person--you can only change yourself, is the message. We can only control so much--much is completely out of our control, and yet we often hit our heads against a wall trying to gain control. Accepting the things we cannot change--this is a life's work. And fighting for the things we CAN change--also the work of our lives. But figuring out which is which--without that, we are lost.
You are right, courage to change what "must be" starts first. Everything begins with that decision. And then when what you do to change things fails, you accept that you cannot.
To me, the serenity prayer's genius lies in the final phrase: the wisdom to know the difference ("the insight to know the one from the other"). Lots can be made about the fact that the original first called upon us to draw upon our courage to make the changes that are within our power to make, and secondly to find the serenity to accept what which "cannot be helped." However, it's having the wisdom to tell one from the other that is key. There's a reason the 12 step programs have latched onto this prayer. What we can control and what we cannot--a person needs to be able to discern the difference. You cannot change another person--you can only change yourself, is the message. We can only control so much--much is completely out of our control, and yet we often hit our heads against a wall trying to gain control. Accepting the things we cannot change--this is a life's work. And fighting for the things we CAN change--also the work of our lives. But figuring out which is which--without that, we are lost.
You are right, courage to change what "must be" starts first. Everything begins with that decision. And then when what you do to change things fails, you accept that you cannot.
Thanks for pointing that out.